#I deleted the fic be happy now
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guys what the actual hell?
Why did I lose so many followers? If it’s because of my recent fic I will delete it and remove it from my master lists but can I have an explanation as to why I lost over 150 followers in under a few hours?
I’m not blaming anyone ily all but im just curious as to WHY I lost followers over one single fic which didn’t even contain anything problematic in it, and there’s plenty of other fics for you all to read so why focus on ONE just because it’s from a game that you don’t like?
Again I’m sorry if this came off as harsh I’m just upset and not in my right mind rn because this feels ridiculous
#writing.#I deleted the fic be happy now#if this ends up being a bug or smth I’m gonna cry#I’m not in the mood to write atp so this is the lady you’re seeing of me until 2025 I think
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🧮🔥💕 (last one for your current WIPs) for the fic writing asks? Thanks :D
🧮 what are you working on? describe it in 20 words or less
post s2 au of perry mason hbo where pete and perry get their shit together
🔥 what’s something that’s currently going really well?
i finally figured out how to get from point a to point b in Modern Architecture (my forementioned perry mason fic), and i have fully outlined both remaining chapters of No Grave Can Hold My Body Down (my bathena amnesia!bobby au)
💕 what's your favorite part of your writing process?
when i've got my music going and i've got all the time in the world and the words are flowing as easy as breathing and i know exactly where i'm going and how to get there
#thanks for asking!#my fics#literally so happy about modern architecture#ch6 has been stalled for nearly a year#i'd write a couple thousand words and then delete them all and start again#i got stuck like 7k in and now that i fixed the problem i am at 11k and counting
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OKAY I’M DONE‼️ tomorrow‼️
(Subtract about 3-4k [in-progress notes and afterword for my print version—which will be sent to those who asked once i finish editing (might be a minute)!] but here’s proof)
sorry it took so long. I was really unhappy with a couple sections and decided to stop bitching about how unhappy I was with them on tumblr and take the time to rewrite them to a standard that I would actually be happy posting… which I thought would take like a week… silly compacflt… always triple the amount of time I estimate i might need… so sorry I’ve been MIA. ive been working on this the whole time.
but now I’m actually really happy with these. And with their completion, it means this series is over. I think this is an ending I can actually be proud of, now. so for me it was worth it.
also i think i should reiterate, these aren’t supposed to be read all at once, i just thought it would be crazy to post these dozens of individual one-shots as their own chapters. that’s crazy. Lol. so you can treat them like chapters if you want. or don’t. I’m not your mom
these sections (ice/mav retiring, getting married, hangster wedding, retired life etc.) will be posted tomorrow. Thank you for waiting‼️
#a couple of you asked if I’m okay. yes!! just angsting over these sections#this is the end of the series. I had to get it right. I had to.#really not a perfectionist but when stuff is busted it gotta get fixed.#also just a warning. i might delete this fic sometime soon.#not the whole series. just this fic.#im incredibly proud of part two but part one especially is not my best work#I’m fine with people reading it now but maybe not in perpetuity.#and slider was a pretty good way to end the series otherwise#these extras were just for me ☺️#happy thanksgiving btw! very grateful for all of you. have a good holiday.
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#sylvie speaks#(in the tags because this isn't a complete enough though to make a proper post out of)#(and i will probably delete it anyway)#i am having Thoughts about creating and sharing and credit#and what it means to be a creator on the internet#(as much as that term has become loaded now)#i have mostly accepted that i do not get to control what people do with my words once i post them in a public forum#i will ask and i will request and i will trust in the goodness of strangers#but there will always be some people acting in ignorance or malice#and really when it comes to things like gifsets and fics and such i am so so happy for people to use them#even if it's for a fandom/media/ship that i might personally dislike or find uncomfy or some such thing#because it inspired and someone found meaning in my words and that is. all i can ever really ask#and they tend to be well credited anyway#and even if they aren't i think most people recognize that the quotes probably came from someone else#i'm not even as upset about poems floating around wholesale uncredited#(i'd have a personal vendetta the size of the pacific ocean against pinterest if i did)#but when it becomes credited to someone else#or when someone else claims credit for it#that... that does upset me in ways i find hard to articulate#and takes me by surprise in its stark contrast to how little i care about the other kinds of usage#i think it's about ownership perhaps#it is one thing to let something go#it is another thing entire for someone else to take it for themselves#it is mine; or it was; and i don't mind sharing i really don't#you don't even have to say thank you or tell me you're using it or even say it's mine#(though i much much much prefer that you do)#but it feels deeply violating for someone else to slap their name on it#i am perhaps slightly more bitter about this than usual#bc i recently discovered another piece of blatant plagiarism#that isn't worth pursuing but it does make me sad
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#i had a hangman/swerve fic started that i actually didnt hate but im not gonna finish it for tonight and posting it after makes no sense so#sweeping all that under a rug i guess#cause fuck me trying to do anything anymore#i was pretty happy with the progress too but. its just not happening#i just cant make anything. i cant and trying is not worth it#and i hate fucking saying that cause i know in like two days im gonna go back on that word and start making something again#cause making anything is the only way i feel alive anymore. but then the loop starts all over again and i cant ultimately break it#i dont know what im supposed to do about this. or what i can do. probably fucking nothing cause lbr i just fucking suck and its hopeless#whatever. sorry im just being a bitch once again. im resisting so hard of just deleting everything right now#instead im gonna go be fucking useless and waste time playing video games. cause thats a better use of my time i guess#i fucking guess#night is an absolute mess on main
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so I woke up to this fucking comment in the middle of the night
and I just wanna say, not only did I absolutely NOT use a fucking AI or bot to write my fic, but also if this is something that is going to happen now and I’m gonna have to be anxious/worried that someone is gonna accuse me of doing something like this OR that someone is gonna upload my work to a machine to teach it how to steal the work of a real human: I just won’t post anymore. like it’s literally as simple as that.
and that kills me because I already have enough reasons not to post the things I write and I was legit so excited to put something new up and now I’m like a sad leftover birthday balloon and I honestly don’t know if I will continue posting this fic or not. I feel super gross about this and frankly, really violated too. we’ll see if that changes by wednesday, but no promises on updates anymore at this point. most of the joy I had about posting this fic is gone now because of this.
so whoever is out there feeding fics into bots, here’s my PSA: fucking do better. be better. and stop ruining creative outlets for actual real people. you suck.
#never in my life have I gone from so happy/excited about an email to just flat out pissed the fuck off#like this has actually legitimately ruined my night#half a mind to just delete the entire fic now because I hate hate HATE THIS SO MUCH#literally artificial intelligence is going to be the actual death of true creative work#and it is so sad to watch it happen in real time#mads speaks#mads writes#ao3#prayer line juke#PSA#novelai#chatgpt#FUCK ALL OF YOUR BULLSHIT AIS#writing#fic writing#ao3 etiquette
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I’ve started working on my ancient FMA post-COS fic for the first time in a straight up decade, and I finally caved and made a spotify account so I could organise all the old songs I listened to when I was writing it.
You can find it here if you wanna hear some pretty songs that make me think of fma 2003 and CoS. It’s short rn but it’ll grow as my memory comes back.
If any of yall have been here long enough to remember my old abandoned fic, I’m finally bringing that ol corpse back to life and working on it again, miracles really do happen!
#fma 2003#fullmetal alchemist 2003#fma 03#conqueror of shamballa#that fic is literally as old as some of yall new fans i wanna cry#i first made it back in like 2010 or 2011 but i deleted it#now its back!!#i hope im working on it#i am v busy with work but the passion is back and i am so happy#fma
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Ok I honestly hope that this is just the universe playing a mega fat april fools on me...
BUT as for NOW it is sadly true:
I DON'T have a computer/laptop anymore 😭 The battery died...and I don't know if it can be changed or if I at least can save what is on the harddrive/memory card..
Which means that SOME (not all of it! Most of it is thankfully saved on a separate hardisk) of the chapters/pages of my Rammstein WIP Fic MAY be lost FOREVER 😞 I never learn by taking several copied snd save them somewhere else and so now I am being punished (just like that time when my phones SD card got broken when I dropped the phone into concrete and the card couldn't be saved and my ENTIRE 1 and a half year stay in Gothenburg was lost!)
I wish I was fooling everybody right now but it's true! Fuck. I really HOPE that everything that is saved there can at least be taken out somehow and saved before I buy a new laptop. Otherwise I am gonna cry...
#writing was my ONE happiness in life right now but of course the universe hates me and decided to take away that too :)#and maybe even delete a little less than half of the work I have done :)#fic writing#the viking writes
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[General fic. Jo Sawashiro and Masato Arakawa ft. Masumi Arakawa]
Sawashiro had joined the yakuza in order to reunite with the son he abandoned son Masato Arakawa, that much was clear. However, apparently he'd done too fine of a job gaining the senior Arakawa's trust and respect in the process: what would seem like a dream and perfect opportunity to some could only promise an awkward evening for Sawashiro as he was given the important task of babysitting Masato. By himself. When he had no experience whatsoever with children on his own.
But if Arakawa appeared to have enough faith in him, then what reason did he have to doubt himself? Plenty, really.
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza 7#yakuza like a dragon#jo sawashiro#masato arakawa#masumi arakawa#snap scribes#is it too late to say happy fathers day <- yes it's like 2AM#'who posts fics at 2AM' me at 2AM: OH BOY#would we believe me if i said i just stared at my wall for like four hours#it wasnt that i didnt know what i write i perfectly knew what i wanted to write my brain is just molasses#anyways. this is mid#rushed this and im tired so im not rereading it ok#im sending it as it is and im gonna regret it cause i just KNOW theres some bits in here i couldve done better or added#unfun fact my dad used to make me eggs over rice for breakfast everyday :'''] happy fathers day to me....#or should have deleted even ☠️ ok im sleeping now byyyyee#might have another fic done tomorrow but prob not#i have comms to do and im watching movie with homie...#ok bye bye for real now
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same anon here who sent the original ask,,, it’s not exactly in video format but i swear, by sheer coincidence, i wasn’t even actively searching for it, i found an extended version of the cute lil punching thing???
https://www.tumblr.com/beyondallreasonablesport/16985250525/fuckyeahsebson-maythekersbewithyou-mark-acts
what a coincidence frrr i wasn’t even trying to search for it and it just… popped up… it’s 4am and i’m freaking out at this coincidence. anyway! it’s not the best quality but aaaaaaaa
Anon tysm omfg!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 you really delivered!! <3
I think I'm still gonna be a bit sad for a while that I can't go find it in the archive itself, but I really appreciate you sending it!! What a crazy coincidence! It's a shame that the op is deleted because I'm really curious if I had the race correct or not. But finding out that something has been deleted is one of the worst things to experience online I think, you just feel kind of empty because it's something you'll probably never get back sigh sigh :,)
#this is my library of alexandria shdjkfkf#but yayyyyy it has its own post im so happy!!#but seriously who out there has that archive ik you exist#i wonder if theres a sub for archived f1 content#bcs i bet theres people out there who have saved a lot#i mean i know a certain mutual out there downloading like 5 billion gb of races cough cough#but i think im just sad about it because i watched it but only part of it#so like its worse that ik i had access before but not anymore yknow#its like when you go back to read an old fic you liked but its been deleted#but this hurts bcs it was on internet archive so im like wait they remove stuff off there????? thats no fair!#god i just think lately im gaining a sense of how finite finding info can be#bcs of certain things;#one is trying to find old f1 content that just straight up doesnt exist anymore bcs it wasnt archived or was deleted#such as old videos like ads or pr content that just has ceased to exist bcs of various things#and also irl with how many museums ive gone to lately i realize theres so much art thats lowkey impossible to find online#so anyways yes interesting! sad but now a little more happy! tysm anon!!!#catie.asks.
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Ughghh being an easily emotional person is not always fun :((
#because sometimes its super nice how i can indulge in big emotions!#earlier today i got a comment from an artist i love on one of my fics and literally did a happy dance around the apartment#got a silly text from my dad and was tapping my feet at my desk about it#but like now im looking job applications and im not even doing anything and im crying over it being overwhelming#i havent even submitted anything!! i havent done any of the hard part!! im just looking at normal listings!!#and its so emotionally consuming i dont understand#>:((( why#days that make me want to rewatch all of mp100 at once and get the kind of insight on emotions that mob always gives me#vent#delete later
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DIRECTOR FURINA I AM SHOUTING AND CHEERING
#personal stuff#delete later#WOOO I'M SO HAPPY FOR HER#not sure what ayaka and ayato are doing here but i enjoy siblings.#navia looks fun!! POLEARM CHEVREUSE. i am slightly more interested now#CHIORI DESIGN REVEAL YAAAY. can't wait to see her#ooh xavier's here too neat#why does chevreuse say go to hell. do you know how hard i've tried to avoid saying the word hell in fics. do you#since we've never had a confirmed belief in any sort of hell beyond the abyss.#STAMINA CONSUMPTION PASSIVE. YOU WEREN'T FAST ENOUGH TO SAVE SOMEONE YOU LOVED HUH.#LOST RICHES EVENT RERUN YAAAAY#AND LIBEN BACK WOOO.#FONTAINE REALM LAYOUT YAAAAAAAAAY#it's underwater awww#hopefully that means fontaine furniture sets!!#and stellar moments v.4!! i figured it would be out soon
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hi :) do you have any suggestions for younger writers? any detrimental mistakes we should strive to circumvent? (younger meaning teens, i guess?) your writing is so, so beautiful and i crave advice!!!
OMG i forgot about this ask for a literal month i'm so sorry 😭 here is what i can think of off the top of my head <3
keep reading others' works and branch out in authors/genres/forms as much as you can. if you just keep going on your own words you'll start to feel like you're just saying the same thing over and over in slightly different ways
write about what you care about! writing for fun is not a school assignment. i usually churn out 3-4x the amount of what actually gets posted because that's how i process my thoughts. everyone's process is different but imo it's better to write a bunch of bullshit rather than holding yourself back because you're scared it'll be bad
part two of the above point: don't get sucked into writing things just because they're what will get you attention. i'm a hypocrite for this because i've done this but i'm recovering from that mindset lol. i think art is better the more of a niche freak you are and i mean that genuinely
part three to this chain--write original works even if they're only drabbles. it's a different skillset from writing fic and even though it's harder and won't get you as much direct instant gratification it's also much more personally rewarding
most importantly just keep writing!! i write so much shit that's just for practice & for fun and isn't for others. i could get into specific grammar/plot pitfalls i see a lot but i feel like the main mistake i made as a younger writer was intimidating myself out of having fun with writing.
#also even the fics i've posted that i'm not entirely happy with#or that i really really want to delete now#have people who are touched by it. and i hear from people sometimes who will pick out a specific line and say that it spoke to them#it also isn't a crime to suck. it's a crime to maintain ironic detachment because ironic detachment kills art#ask
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one month to uni... much to think about
#ell shut up#listen i basically accidentally entered uni i think i'm still reeling ahfndhgd#i wasn't planning to till next year but. shit happened#ugh... i will miss having the time to write#i know my own burnout cycle#i probably will struggle to write once the projects pile up#on the bright side? might return with some improvements to my writing style#studying english babey B)#'ell how did you accidentally enter uni' apply last minute bs the test and interview and get an acceptance 5 days later#i'm in a league of my own#waaaaaaaaa i will miss writing though TT#i wanna write one more bthb fic before it starts :')#this is a bunch of ramblings idk if ill delete it later or not#contrary to my typing style i am generally decent at english#i just stockpile English Power for when i like. write properly#which is NOT on social media...... or discord......#sorry getting new mutuals makes me happy to ramble more now
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nothing beats when ur trying to sleep and ur brain is running through concepts and u hit a fuckin
moment on an idea you’ve been struggling with
#ignorance cloud on#have tried on two separate occasions to write the intro to a fic concept but it kept coming out weird#but then laying here just now i was like WAIT I GOT IT#i literallt opened the doc on my phone deleted everything and jotted down the idea#so tomorrow i can actually tinker w it#i literallt wanted to tell URETHRA i was so happy#this wip may see the light of day after all!!
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gonna write a fic in a tiny and dead fandom as rent-control shots
#writing in atsv and being like 'wow this is great!' for a few days before remembering that ohhhh i don't actually like that much attention#on my fics esp#i'm gonna write. idk. [spins the wheel] an oc-centric magi fic with jamil as the protag#delete later#laughing so hard bc i hit 1k kudos and was like aight that's it folks i'm out this is Too Much Maybe#hbfjgoiwejkd i did my time! i got the love! now please let me squeeze into a little dead fandom corner to never get more than 10 kudos pls#i don't think there's anything half as funny as people going 'this deserves more love'#while i'm here raccoon baby like 'oh actually it could do with a bit less. like 75% less.'#'the journey' having less than 40 kudos is so ideal to me actually. if i get one comment every other chapter i'm happy. that's a good amount#this is not to say having a lot of comments and such do not make me happy. they make me SO happy. i love readers and commenters#just to say i think fanfic is sometimes meant to be a lil scrap of paper shared between you and two other randos on the internet and 'sall#UPDATE: 2 hours later i did. in fact. post an oc-centric magi fic with jamil as the protag
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